Making True Change
Why part of you wants to change but another part holds you back
The calendar says fall has just begun, but where I live nature has already burst into full splendour. From my window, the hillside is bursting with crimson, orange, and gold.
On a recent walk, one of the trees caught my attention. A single limb had transformed into fiery red, while the rest of the branches stubbornly stayed green. It struck me as both beautiful and telling. One part of the tree embracing change, the rest reluctant, hesitant, resistant.
How often have you felt that same split inside yourself?
Part of you wants to create a new habit, show up differently, stop hiding the woman you truly are. To let yourself be seen with loved ones. But another part holds you back.
Maybe you’re tired of smiling on the outside while aching on the inside. Craving more meaningful connection but your mind hijacks your best intentions, and you stop yourself.
That inner tug-of-war has a reason. And it’s why change can be hard.
It’s well-documented that our conscious, thinking mind only makes up about 5% of our awareness. The other 95% is the subconscious, quietly influencing our lives.
The subconscious is miraculous. It keeps your heart beating, your lungs breathing, your cells renewing. It also allows you to drive a car without revisiting the step-by-step instructions from when you first learned.
But here’s the challenge: it also stores every memory and cautionary tale of hurt, betrayal, rejection. And when you think about showing up differently, your subconscious doesn’t see possibility. It recalls the past and rings the alarm, “This isn’t safe! Don’t go there!”
And here’s the good news: You don’t have to be trapped or restricted by this.
You can feed your subconscious new experiences, new truths, new evidence that change isn’t only possible, it’s liberating. That it’s safe to make small changes to live unrestricted, true to yourself and deeply connected. The first step is simply to acknowledge your tenderness without shoving it down.
Through discernment, you can learn to recognize what’s true danger versus what’s simply fear of the unfamiliar. And when you do, discomfort shifts. Fear softens. What once felt impossible becomes your new and comfortable normal.
When you stop hiding, when you start showing up as the magnetic woman you are, your relationships transform. Yes, intimate connections can feel messy and vulnerable—but they’re also breathtakingly beautiful.
You’ve achieved so much, and this isn’t about doing more – it’s about being more of who you already are.
This is the process women I work with use to feel the freedom to express their true selves and have fulfilling relationships – without taxing their time or energy, or sacrificing what’s most important to them.
Just as all the limbs of the tree will eventually turn color, you too can grow into your most vibrant, energized and happy version. Not all at once, not perfectly – but steadily and beautifully.
This is Unrestricted Intimacy at its core.
Today’s Moment of Reflection: